Slow Gifting Season

Gift-giving can be a joy, but it can also come with its own set of challenges—especially during the holidays. While I love finding or crafting the perfect gift, I buckle under the pressure of deadlines and the awkwardness (and wastefulness) of certain "obligatory" gift rituals. I just want to give a sweet gift when the feeling strikes.

Alas, ad hoc gifting isn't always practical, so once again we need to forge a better way. Or, perhaps, remember the old ways that were a little more mindful and eco-friendly. 

Enter: "slow gifting." 

It’s a concept I learned early on from my dad, who delighted in keeping an ear out for gift ideas throughout the year. He would light up when he found something he knew would be perfect, savouring the moment he could share it with us. Did anyone in your world do this too?

I know that different cultures, social classes, and communities will have differing ideas on what is appropriate in terms of gifts, and my ideas won't work for everyone.

My intention is to spark curiosity around when and why we give gifts, and how we make decisions in our gifting rituals. The specifics can be quite personal, which is why a lot of the points in my roadmap below are in the form of questions, rather than "answers". Though I do share some of my own answers, just to be fair ;)

Slow gifting is a journey that, like breaking away from fast fashion, requires introspection and reflection. It’s about considering the lives and interests of those we care about, and making sure our gifts truly resonate. It’s worth the extra effort, even if we encounter a few snags along the way!

If you want to get super curious about your relationship to gifting, and explore ideas to make your future gifts a little more special, take the time to ponder some of my questions below. I hope the exercise inspires some gift-giving joy for you no matter the holiday!

Elysha's Slow Gifting Roadmap, v.1

1) Prioritize.

You can't hug all of the cats, you can't give (or receive) all of the gifts. And, frankly, you just don't need to.

• Who do you gift, and when? Why?
• Which holidays or occasions spark your urge to share a gift with someone? Which feel like a chore?

elysha: personally, I love birthdays as gift-giving occasions. It allows me to focus on just one person to gift, and it's possibly the only non-capitalist celebration that is widely recognized.

2) Communicate.

If this is all a big shift in the way you do gifts, be prepared talk through the concepts of slow gifting with the people in your life. Progress is not linear. It will help a lot to have a good grasp on why this change is important to you:

• What does slow gifting (or gifting in general) mean to you? Why are you re-imagining your relationship with gifting?
• What expectations do you have with the people in your life around gifts, or do others have with you? How do these expectations feel to you?
• What do you want to change about your gift-giving/-receiving experience? How might your gift rituals be different this year?

elysha: growing up it was not a secret that my family didn't have much disposable income, and we didn't make a big deal of showy gifts. I don't like to feel like I'm burdening people with more "stuff" (again, projecting my own experiences and needs here) so I like to surprise friends with little treats and handmade art kind of at random. though I'm trying to appreciate people's connection to different shared holidays more, and participate in those in a way that aligns with my values.

3) Be considerate

In addition to thinking and talking through your personal motivations around slow gifting, remember that giving a gift is also about the person receiving it. Like I wrote in the preamble, the best gifts show true consideration for the person's life and interests - so you're going to have to get curious! It's way better to ask than to guess and get it wrong. If you're savvy (I'm not), you can be more sleuthy than direct with your investigations. Listen for answers along these lines:

• What do you do for fun lately?
• What's something you've been wanting to try, but haven't made time for?
• Do you prefer practical gifts, sentimental ones, or experiences?
• What are you currently saving up for?
• What do you enjoy as a treat?

elysha: I like experiences, and shaping gifts around a shared experience. I've woven a unique tiny tapestry for many a friend over the years, and baked a dang lot of bread and cookies.

4) Get creative

One-click shopping, incessant ads, and all the other tricks of the marketing trade make overconsumption seem like the only option, but there's way more to life than buying stuff. Even if you're not an avid DIYer (I know my bias), there are so many ways to give a thoughtful and unique gift that supports the values of both the gift-giver and -receiver. Consider:

• What values do you want to reflect with your gifts?
• How can you incorporate recycled, reused, repurposed, or secondhand aspects to your gift or packaging materials?
  
• Experiences over trinkets: how could you gift someone the opportunity to learn a skill, go somewhere, or spend quality time with loved ones?

elysha: the epic lore among my friends/family is always when we did things a little differently. playing a game, going to a community event, or just saying "why not" instead of sticking to tradition for tradition's sake. gift stuff stopped when we were all kids, but one christmas as adults my cousins and I all exchanged random trinkets from our own collections white-elephant style. it was all about the stories and laughs.

5) Less is more

Not a hot take at this point: we have way too much stuff. I am hearing more and more conversations in my daily life about how fed up and overburdened people are feeling about their (over)consumption, so let's think long-term about what we're gifting:

• Is this gimmicky, or made to last?
• What is the life cycle of gifts you are buying or making?
  
• How long do you expect the gift(s) to last? Is it repairable? Are there versions of this product that are more eco-friendly, repairable, or locally made?
  
• Could you plan a no-gifts gathering instead, or a gift event with a "slow" theme like secondhand only, locally-sourced, a shared experience or donations to an important cause or movement?